2012 in Review

In thinking about this year, it has really been a formative turning point in my life.  As I look forward to 2013, I wanted to take a look back at all I've made it through in 2012 to get here.

This year I...
- lived with 13 crazy strangers in a tiny house in DC, yet felt so alone the whole time
- had to get used to going out and doing things on my own there
- felt anger towards how I was treated by roommates, teachers, and advisers in DC
- felt like I didn't have a voice to do anything about it
- felt homesick from being away from my family, friends, and boyfriend for so long
- was depressed and doubtful of my future after 4 months of job searching without success
- was scared of what graduating and being independent meant
- realized I'd gained weight and my clothes weren't fitting right; felt insecure about my body
- made myself never miss a day at the gym and count my calories
- made myself go through and organize almost everything in my room/that I own with my free, jobless time
- was disappointed that I'd have to be an intern, yet again
- stressed about adjusting to two new work environments at the same time
- put so much pressure on myself to do an amazing job so I'd get hired full time

It has been a year for growth and for getting my life in order. After all the craziness and struggle that has been this year, I'm finally starting to feel like I'm in a really good place.  I'm getting to where I envisioned myself to be as I am half-way to turning 22.

I have a steady job that I really love in the city that I love and where my family is, I could not be happier or more supported in my relationship, and I am starting to feel confident in my body for the first time ever after getting into shape and losing a few pounds.

I'm sure there will be many more challenges ahead in 2013, but right now I am celebrating all the progress I've made.  Thanks to all of you who had my back, listened, and supported me through it all.

I'm Thankful for My Job!

I am happy to announce I have been offered and accepted a full-time position at Audiogon!  I have a real salary and benefits!  It's like I'm an adult or something!

I am absolutely loving working there.  It is exactly what I envisioned myself doing for my first job.  I am so thankful that it is going well and that they like what I am doing enough to hire me on.  It has been such a stressful year, and I've been looking for this moment for so long.  I definitely don't take it for granted.  I am so glad I can take a little sigh of relief knowing that I have something in place now, and I am so happy that it feels so right since I've never been very sure what I wanted to do for a career.

I also found out that I get to go to Las Vegas in January for the job, which I'm really looking forward to.  We'll be going for The Home Entertainment Show and The Consumer Electronics Show.  I hope I can learn much more about audio equipment there, and I'm sure it will be a really fun time getting to know my coworkers better.  Vegas is just so cool.

Happy Thanksgiving, and I hope you have as much to be thankful for as I do.

(and Go Tigers!)

Another Job Update!

Since my internship at Complete Public Relations is only a few hours a week, I decided to look for another position to fill up the rest of my time and get more experience that can hopefully open more doors for a full time job in a few months.  I ended up finding the perfect position and got the job!

I am now working for Audiogon as a part time marketing and social media assistant.  I'll be working 10-25 hours a week there, and I can work flexible hours from home, which will be so nice and allow me to work around my internship at Complete.  Audiogon is an e-commerce website for high end audio equipment.

I am excited to get experience working directly for a company, as well as for an agency, to see the differences and get a clearer idea of what kind of place I'd like to work full time.  I'm lucky to be doing what I love - social media!

Job Update

I am happy to announce that I recently accepted a fall internship position with Complete Public Relations!  An internship with an agency will give me the hands on knowledge and experience I need to secure a full time position in the industry.

Complete has a unique approach to public relations focusing on media and crisis communications.  They have done work with political campaigns and non-profits, as well.  I feel my experience in media with WSPA-TV, non-profits with Safe Harbor, and politics with Congressmen Clyburn's office aligns well with what they do.

I am very excited to get back to work after a nice summer off, especially with such a new and growing firm in Greenville.  I am sure there is a lot to learn.

Oh, The Job Search

I graduated! ...Yay?

While this should be something you look forward to, after the excitement of the day itself, it can be quite a drag because of the impending job search that looms ahead.  As I troll the job boards, it makes me wonder, is this really the best way to do things?  Does this system really get people in the right jobs? Will I ever find the right position?

Clearly, I'm very much a proponent of the web and social media, so I am mostly looking on career search sites and through Clemson's job boards for jobs, as well as on company's websites and on social media.  However, what if I'm missing something in my scanning?  My parents are very into just sending your resume to different companies or walking right into their offices, whether they have a position posted or not.  It seems a little old school to me, and would that really be worth all the effort?  Is that effective? Do I just have to know the right people?

And its hard to know what the right protocol is.  Should I call after submitting my application?  How long should I wait?  Should I email?  Should I call the person Mr. or Ms. or by their first name?  What do I say when they ask me about where else I've applied or how my job search is going?  Am I being confident in my skills or do I sound too cocky?

Then, say you do get a call and an interview.  You're joyous, but stressed to the max.  During an interview, you're not even really you.  The ball of nerves in your body does half of the blubbering, and the rest is your pre-planned "right" answers to those typical interview questions.  It seems like anyone can research good answers to these usual inquiries and just fake it until they make it.  Does it really show that much about what kind of worker you would be?  Then again, no one wants to actually have to take a test or do a mini project during an interview either, which would probably only be a fraction of your best work due to the nerves.  So we're stuck with this whole talk-about-different-hypothetical-work-situations interview thing.

Then after the interview, comes the waiting game.  You are keeping up with the company and what they are doing on social media and their website, and you think about how great it would be to work there.  Sometimes this goes on for months.  You drive past the building thinking, "soon I could be working there."  You invest your time researching and a piece of your heart into this one, because you felt the interview went well.  Then you get "the call" where they tell you they filled the position, and its like getting broken up with.  They just ended the relationship between you and this job that you built up in your head.  And you think to yourself, could I really have done anything more to get that job?  It may have been some tiny little word you said or quirk you had that you will never know made up their minds.  Will you ever get closure and get an actual reason for the loss? Probably not.

Or say you do get the job, then you get calls from the other places you applied down the line.  They want to talk to you, but you are committed, and you're forced to ponder for a second what could have been.  That is a dangerous thought.

It seems like a traumatic cycle to go through over and over again, and I wonder if it keeps people in jobs that aren't exactly right longer than necessary just to avoid the whole process.  I'm lucky enough that I don't have to worry right now about making money to have a roof over my head or feed myself or support anyone else (thanks, mom and dad), and I'm still going crazy about it!  How on earth am I supposed to find the job that fits me...and if I do, will the company think I fit them?

Is it just me or does this all sound a little crazy?  But I guess no one has thought of a better alternative so this is what we are stuck with.  Congrats Class of 2012, and may your period of unemployed stress be as short as possible.

Am I done yet?

Well, to be frank, this week sucked.  Work has been really stressful and crazy.  This is one of the busiest weeks of the year for tourism in DC, since it is Easter week, and the Capitol was so packed.  I gave one tour, which turned out to be a nightmare since part of the group was late, and it was the last tour of the day so everything was closing up.  People are so rude.  They were late then complained that they didn't get to see enough.  I'm not sure what people's expectations are, but I think the Capitol is really cool!  I hate feeling like I let anyone down, but I think these people just had a bad attitude, and it wasn't me.  I guess the crowds are getting to everyone.  There were a lot of people gone from the office this week, too, so I was doing a lot.  It was nice to have more responsibility and things to do, but also not so fun since I barely had time to take a breath or eat.  I was also told I was going to be attending the Easter Egg Roll at the White House on Monday, but then a few days later learned that I couldn't go as an intern.  That was a huge heartbreak.  I mean, I never in a million years thought I would get to go to something like that so I was seriously ecstatic when I found out.  Then after being so emotionally drained all week and looking forward to that to keep me going, finding out I wouldn't be able to go was really tough.  Thank goodness I had Friday off, or I might have really gone crazy!

Thursday for theater class, we went to see Taming of the Shrew by Synetic Theater, but it wasn't typical Shakespeare at all.  It was silent!  There was music, but no words.  It was also supposed to be a modern hip hop version set in a very smutty Hollywood-type city.  It was bizarre, kind of crude, and I did not like it at all.  I don't think anyone in the house did.  It wasn't a great way to end my week or a good play to end this theater class on.

I came home on Thursday to find the cutest popcorn tin from my Aunt Jean.  I definitely needed a pick-me-up so that was just perfect!  She spoiled me too much when she was here, so I can't believe she sent me this popcorn, too!

Popcorn tin from Aunt Jean

Friday I decided to go to the Smithsonian National Zoo.  I made the mistake of waiting to eat lunch until I got there.  The zoo was crazy busy, and I had to wait probably almost 30 minutes in line to get food.  I almost felt awful and faint, because I had to wait so long.  It is not fun to feel that way when you are somewhere by yourself.  Moments of weakness like that and being surrounded by so many families at a place like the zoo reminds me of how much better it is to do things with other people instead of alone.  It is the times like those when I get a twinge of homesickness again and can't wait to just be with the people I love even doing the little, mundane things.  In general, it was hard to walk anywhere without a person or a stroller in your way as it was so busy there.  The zoo itself was cool though.  Its very big, and the big draw is the Giant Panda habitat.  I had never seen a panda before and seeing one up close was neat.  I also liked the meerkats - really cute.  There were some peacocks, which are just breathtaking, as well.  It is a lot of walking though so I was beat when I finished.

Panda!

Peacock

Flamingos

Meerkat

Saturday, I was kind of at a loss as to what to do with myself, so I decided to check out the Pentagon City Mall.  It was a pretty nice mall.  I just did a lot of looking mostly, but I did finally find myself a graduation dress at Forever 21.  I had been looking for a few weeks but didn't see anything that really hit me.  I love what I got.  I will be able to wear it to work and for other nice occasions, too.  The best part is that its bright purple!  Go Tigers!  I also bought myself a Cherry Blossom Festival shirt at Union Station on my way home.  That night there were fireworks down at the SW waterfront for the Cherry Blossom Festival, so I gathered up some of the roommates and off we went.  It was a nice show, but then the metro was crazy for a while with the huge crowd leaving the area.  We decided to try to find a restaurant or coffee shop to hang out at until the rush died down, but that was ultimately a failure so we just walked around for a good bit.

Red fireworks

Tons of gold fireworks during the finale

Today I was pretty bored and again didn't know what to do with myself.  I did my fairly regular Sunday tradition of going to Eastern Market for my favorite crepe and to look around.  I ended up just doing a work out video and watching some movies on my computer after that.  I'm really getting to the point where I'm just ready to go home.  Other than the few things I have planned for next weekend and when my parents are here to move me out the weekend after that, I'm done with everything I wanted to do and see here.  Living with 14 other people in this tiny house is wearing on a person, this week at work was crazy, and I'm done with all of my schoolwork, so I'm counting down the days.  I'm excited to get back to SC soon and be with my family and friends.  I swear this experience has made me appreciate the South so much more.  I'm craving some good BBQ and summer time fun.  It is also scary though as going home approaches since I literally have no plans after graduation day on May 11.  This has to be the first time in my life that has ever happened, and to a planner like me, that is pretty inconceivable in my mind.  As much as I'd like to relax and travel before I land a job, like everyone is telling me to, there is no way I can just sit around and not be stressing until I find something.  I want to start my life, and I want it to be the right thing, not just the available thing.  I can't rest until I find it, but the job search has been pretty sparse so far.

With the semester drawing to a close, some of you may be wondering what this blog will be afterwards.  Maybe you're not...but I guess I'm trying to answer myself on that question right now.  I still want to keep it up, though I likely won't have as many sightseeing adventures to document.  I'll probably do some general life update posts infrequently when something big happens or I take a trip.  I definitely want to write more about PR and social media related topics.  I've always wanted to since I started it, but I let the DC posts take priority for the time being.  Maybe in my unemployment I'll finally have time to be as crafty as you would think I am from looking at my Pinterest boards and post about that!  And I'll put it in writing right now so I stick to it - I want to try a diet when I get home, and I may write about how that goes.  We'll see!

Sorry for the mildly depressing post, but no worries!  I'm bringing out my favorite Coldplay and James Morrison tunes, which always feel so right and have gotten me through a lot.  I'm hoping the next two weeks are much better than this one, and I'll be home before I know it.

Official pic with Congressman Clyburn

Intelligent Adult Conversation

I wrote the following for a journal entry for my program, and I thought it was worth sharing:

Last Wednesday, I traveled to Columbia Heights to Chavez Prep Middle School. My boss asked me if I would be able to judge their “We The People” competition that day. I did not know much about it, but I was excited anyway. I was active in speech and debate in high school and often judge debate tournaments when I am in Greenville. I figured this would be similar, and I always enjoy a nice excursion from work, though I did not know exactly what to expect.

I got off the metro and became a bit confused as to where I was going. I decided to ask someone if they knew where the school was. A woman claimed she did but ultimately sent me in the wrong direction. By the time I figured out my mistake and turned around, I was running a bit late. It was a warmer day than I expected, and I regretted bringing my peacoat along. I got there feeling like a mess with sweat under my arms and my hair windblown. I was immediately put into a judge’s training session with many people at least twice my age. I felt flustered and foolish for looking so disheveled. The instructor paired us up, and I was put with a man about the same age as my father, who is in the Coast Guard. I felt awkward and unsure how to act, and I felt he did not know how to treat me either.

I often find myself in this situation around adults whether at work, at school, or in a personal environment. I feel like a kid in comparison, and I sense they are not taking me seriously for exactly that reason. We anxiously engage in small talk about where I go to school and what I am studying. They may tell me what they do or try to give me some advice, but nothing extraordinary happens. The comments are highly predictable and unsurprising. The conversation is out of courtesy, not interest. We both know this and move on quickly once the pleasantries are finished. I am used to this situation and expect no more.

After our judging duties were complete, we returned to the main room with the other judges. We all sat down waiting for instruction and chatting in the meantime. I began conversation with the guy next to me, probably the next youngest in the room at about 26 or 27 years old. I found out he went to Georgia Tech, and he knew a bit about Clemson. He was very nice and well spoken. He asked me more details about how I like my internship and my philosophy on public relations. I was taken out of my comfort zone of rehearsed answers, and while nervous, I was also happy about it. I was genuinely shocked. This adult actually took an interest in my life, took me seriously, and wanted my opinion. This event should not be out of the ordinary, but for me it was.

As I answered his questions, I realized exactly what I’m looking for in an employer. I want to work for an organization that believes in transparency and openness. I want to work for a company who realizes the potential and importance of social media in public relations and marketing, or at least one that is open to me showing them. I want to work with people like this who actually listen, digest what I say, and respect me regardless of my age and experience level. He ensured me that it is possible to find this in a workplace, and he even offered to put me in touch with the media relations person at his company to talk about it. I was floored. A man I met five minutes ago was going out of his way to help me figure out my life. That meant a lot.

I do not know if this will really come to fruition or not. I am not sure I want to work in DC, and I do not know if the media person at this organization will be as helpful as this man. This professional networking experience may not produce any usable results. However, it was beneficial to me regardless. It helped me answer some of my own questions and made me consider things I had not thought of before in my job search. Now I know what to look for in an employer and what questions to ask them in an interview.

It also showed me how I want to act when I am older. I want to remember how hard it could be as an intern and student and be able to give the same helping hand to someone else down the line. I want to take a few minutes of my time to help others whenever I can. Though I do not want to be a teacher, I want to give guidance to any students that ask me for help. I do not want to become some jaded professional who takes people for granted or has too big of an ego to actually listen to others ideas and beliefs. I want to be open and have intelligent, adult conversations.