"Wow, you're as quiet as a mouse!" "I bet she's sitting there thinking we're crazy!" "Don't be afraid to speak your mind, it's okay!" "Really, we're just joking around...come on!" "You haven't said a word yet!"
I get these a lot...almost everyday. I've always described myself as introverted, but I think people overuse and misuse the term. Let me explain. I enjoy public speaking and hanging out with people, and I'm not really that shy. I just prefer to have a good bit of alone time. I like to think. And yes, sometimes I get weary if I'm around other people for too long, because I feel I have to kind of be "on" to interact appropriately.
I don't talk unless I have something to say. I don't talk just to talk or to fill the silence. I don't need be the joker in the group or the center of attention. Some people interpret this as being serious, nervous, awkward, stuck up, scared, or upset, but that's not the case at all. When I do say things more off the cuff or just blurt out what I'm thinking, it usually doesn't come out the way I want. I've learned to make my words count so people will listen.
Especially in professional settings, I tend to clam up and be careful of what I say. I want to be taken seriously, and I feel that is an even higher mountain to climb as a new grad. People view you as a kid, and I even graduated a year early so I'm really young. I feel I have a lot to prove sometimes, and I have the highest expectations for myself.
I've actually gotten several pep talks from superiors at different jobs trying to tell me that "it's okay to be myself" and to "say whatever I'm thinking."
What I'd like to say to those people is...I am being myself! Myself is quiet.
And why isn't that okay? It's like no one believes quiet people exist anymore so they just keep prying and trying to get me to "open up." The extroverts are the only ones valued, because they are seen as more fun, humorous, and personable. If you aren't the life of the party, you're the weak link.
I'm fed up with it. I am thoughtful, respectful, hardworking, polite, and yes, quiet. Those traits should be valued and encouraged, not made fun of or ridiculed. I know who I am. Please let me be that person.
Showing posts with label Professionalism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Professionalism. Show all posts
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Oh, The Job Search
I graduated! ...Yay?
While this should be something you look forward to, after the excitement of the day itself, it can be quite a drag because of the impending job search that looms ahead. As I troll the job boards, it makes me wonder, is this really the best way to do things? Does this system really get people in the right jobs? Will I ever find the right position?
Clearly, I'm very much a proponent of the web and social media, so I am mostly looking on career search sites and through Clemson's job boards for jobs, as well as on company's websites and on social media. However, what if I'm missing something in my scanning? My parents are very into just sending your resume to different companies or walking right into their offices, whether they have a position posted or not. It seems a little old school to me, and would that really be worth all the effort? Is that effective? Do I just have to know the right people?
And its hard to know what the right protocol is. Should I call after submitting my application? How long should I wait? Should I email? Should I call the person Mr. or Ms. or by their first name? What do I say when they ask me about where else I've applied or how my job search is going? Am I being confident in my skills or do I sound too cocky?
Then, say you do get a call and an interview. You're joyous, but stressed to the max. During an interview, you're not even really you. The ball of nerves in your body does half of the blubbering, and the rest is your pre-planned "right" answers to those typical interview questions. It seems like anyone can research good answers to these usual inquiries and just fake it until they make it. Does it really show that much about what kind of worker you would be? Then again, no one wants to actually have to take a test or do a mini project during an interview either, which would probably only be a fraction of your best work due to the nerves. So we're stuck with this whole talk-about-different-hypothetical-work-situations interview thing.
Then after the interview, comes the waiting game. You are keeping up with the company and what they are doing on social media and their website, and you think about how great it would be to work there. Sometimes this goes on for months. You drive past the building thinking, "soon I could be working there." You invest your time researching and a piece of your heart into this one, because you felt the interview went well. Then you get "the call" where they tell you they filled the position, and its like getting broken up with. They just ended the relationship between you and this job that you built up in your head. And you think to yourself, could I really have done anything more to get that job? It may have been some tiny little word you said or quirk you had that you will never know made up their minds. Will you ever get closure and get an actual reason for the loss? Probably not.
Or say you do get the job, then you get calls from the other places you applied down the line. They want to talk to you, but you are committed, and you're forced to ponder for a second what could have been. That is a dangerous thought.
It seems like a traumatic cycle to go through over and over again, and I wonder if it keeps people in jobs that aren't exactly right longer than necessary just to avoid the whole process. I'm lucky enough that I don't have to worry right now about making money to have a roof over my head or feed myself or support anyone else (thanks, mom and dad), and I'm still going crazy about it! How on earth am I supposed to find the job that fits me...and if I do, will the company think I fit them?
Is it just me or does this all sound a little crazy? But I guess no one has thought of a better alternative so this is what we are stuck with. Congrats Class of 2012, and may your period of unemployed stress be as short as possible.
While this should be something you look forward to, after the excitement of the day itself, it can be quite a drag because of the impending job search that looms ahead. As I troll the job boards, it makes me wonder, is this really the best way to do things? Does this system really get people in the right jobs? Will I ever find the right position?
Clearly, I'm very much a proponent of the web and social media, so I am mostly looking on career search sites and through Clemson's job boards for jobs, as well as on company's websites and on social media. However, what if I'm missing something in my scanning? My parents are very into just sending your resume to different companies or walking right into their offices, whether they have a position posted or not. It seems a little old school to me, and would that really be worth all the effort? Is that effective? Do I just have to know the right people?
And its hard to know what the right protocol is. Should I call after submitting my application? How long should I wait? Should I email? Should I call the person Mr. or Ms. or by their first name? What do I say when they ask me about where else I've applied or how my job search is going? Am I being confident in my skills or do I sound too cocky?
Then, say you do get a call and an interview. You're joyous, but stressed to the max. During an interview, you're not even really you. The ball of nerves in your body does half of the blubbering, and the rest is your pre-planned "right" answers to those typical interview questions. It seems like anyone can research good answers to these usual inquiries and just fake it until they make it. Does it really show that much about what kind of worker you would be? Then again, no one wants to actually have to take a test or do a mini project during an interview either, which would probably only be a fraction of your best work due to the nerves. So we're stuck with this whole talk-about-different-hypothetical-work-situations interview thing.
Then after the interview, comes the waiting game. You are keeping up with the company and what they are doing on social media and their website, and you think about how great it would be to work there. Sometimes this goes on for months. You drive past the building thinking, "soon I could be working there." You invest your time researching and a piece of your heart into this one, because you felt the interview went well. Then you get "the call" where they tell you they filled the position, and its like getting broken up with. They just ended the relationship between you and this job that you built up in your head. And you think to yourself, could I really have done anything more to get that job? It may have been some tiny little word you said or quirk you had that you will never know made up their minds. Will you ever get closure and get an actual reason for the loss? Probably not.
Or say you do get the job, then you get calls from the other places you applied down the line. They want to talk to you, but you are committed, and you're forced to ponder for a second what could have been. That is a dangerous thought.
It seems like a traumatic cycle to go through over and over again, and I wonder if it keeps people in jobs that aren't exactly right longer than necessary just to avoid the whole process. I'm lucky enough that I don't have to worry right now about making money to have a roof over my head or feed myself or support anyone else (thanks, mom and dad), and I'm still going crazy about it! How on earth am I supposed to find the job that fits me...and if I do, will the company think I fit them?
Is it just me or does this all sound a little crazy? But I guess no one has thought of a better alternative so this is what we are stuck with. Congrats Class of 2012, and may your period of unemployed stress be as short as possible.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Intelligent Adult Conversation
I wrote the following for a journal entry for my program, and I thought it was worth sharing:
Last Wednesday, I traveled to Columbia Heights to Chavez Prep Middle School. My boss asked me if I would be able to judge their “We The People” competition that day. I did not know much about it, but I was excited anyway. I was active in speech and debate in high school and often judge debate tournaments when I am in Greenville. I figured this would be similar, and I always enjoy a nice excursion from work, though I did not know exactly what to expect.
I got off the metro and became a bit confused as to where I was going. I decided to ask someone if they knew where the school was. A woman claimed she did but ultimately sent me in the wrong direction. By the time I figured out my mistake and turned around, I was running a bit late. It was a warmer day than I expected, and I regretted bringing my peacoat along. I got there feeling like a mess with sweat under my arms and my hair windblown. I was immediately put into a judge’s training session with many people at least twice my age. I felt flustered and foolish for looking so disheveled. The instructor paired us up, and I was put with a man about the same age as my father, who is in the Coast Guard. I felt awkward and unsure how to act, and I felt he did not know how to treat me either.
I often find myself in this situation around adults whether at work, at school, or in a personal environment. I feel like a kid in comparison, and I sense they are not taking me seriously for exactly that reason. We anxiously engage in small talk about where I go to school and what I am studying. They may tell me what they do or try to give me some advice, but nothing extraordinary happens. The comments are highly predictable and unsurprising. The conversation is out of courtesy, not interest. We both know this and move on quickly once the pleasantries are finished. I am used to this situation and expect no more.
After our judging duties were complete, we returned to the main room with the other judges. We all sat down waiting for instruction and chatting in the meantime. I began conversation with the guy next to me, probably the next youngest in the room at about 26 or 27 years old. I found out he went to Georgia Tech, and he knew a bit about Clemson. He was very nice and well spoken. He asked me more details about how I like my internship and my philosophy on public relations. I was taken out of my comfort zone of rehearsed answers, and while nervous, I was also happy about it. I was genuinely shocked. This adult actually took an interest in my life, took me seriously, and wanted my opinion. This event should not be out of the ordinary, but for me it was.
As I answered his questions, I realized exactly what I’m looking for in an employer. I want to work for an organization that believes in transparency and openness. I want to work for a company who realizes the potential and importance of social media in public relations and marketing, or at least one that is open to me showing them. I want to work with people like this who actually listen, digest what I say, and respect me regardless of my age and experience level. He ensured me that it is possible to find this in a workplace, and he even offered to put me in touch with the media relations person at his company to talk about it. I was floored. A man I met five minutes ago was going out of his way to help me figure out my life. That meant a lot.
I do not know if this will really come to fruition or not. I am not sure I want to work in DC, and I do not know if the media person at this organization will be as helpful as this man. This professional networking experience may not produce any usable results. However, it was beneficial to me regardless. It helped me answer some of my own questions and made me consider things I had not thought of before in my job search. Now I know what to look for in an employer and what questions to ask them in an interview.
It also showed me how I want to act when I am older. I want to remember how hard it could be as an intern and student and be able to give the same helping hand to someone else down the line. I want to take a few minutes of my time to help others whenever I can. Though I do not want to be a teacher, I want to give guidance to any students that ask me for help. I do not want to become some jaded professional who takes people for granted or has too big of an ego to actually listen to others ideas and beliefs. I want to be open and have intelligent, adult conversations.
Last Wednesday, I traveled to Columbia Heights to Chavez Prep Middle School. My boss asked me if I would be able to judge their “We The People” competition that day. I did not know much about it, but I was excited anyway. I was active in speech and debate in high school and often judge debate tournaments when I am in Greenville. I figured this would be similar, and I always enjoy a nice excursion from work, though I did not know exactly what to expect.
I got off the metro and became a bit confused as to where I was going. I decided to ask someone if they knew where the school was. A woman claimed she did but ultimately sent me in the wrong direction. By the time I figured out my mistake and turned around, I was running a bit late. It was a warmer day than I expected, and I regretted bringing my peacoat along. I got there feeling like a mess with sweat under my arms and my hair windblown. I was immediately put into a judge’s training session with many people at least twice my age. I felt flustered and foolish for looking so disheveled. The instructor paired us up, and I was put with a man about the same age as my father, who is in the Coast Guard. I felt awkward and unsure how to act, and I felt he did not know how to treat me either.
I often find myself in this situation around adults whether at work, at school, or in a personal environment. I feel like a kid in comparison, and I sense they are not taking me seriously for exactly that reason. We anxiously engage in small talk about where I go to school and what I am studying. They may tell me what they do or try to give me some advice, but nothing extraordinary happens. The comments are highly predictable and unsurprising. The conversation is out of courtesy, not interest. We both know this and move on quickly once the pleasantries are finished. I am used to this situation and expect no more.
After our judging duties were complete, we returned to the main room with the other judges. We all sat down waiting for instruction and chatting in the meantime. I began conversation with the guy next to me, probably the next youngest in the room at about 26 or 27 years old. I found out he went to Georgia Tech, and he knew a bit about Clemson. He was very nice and well spoken. He asked me more details about how I like my internship and my philosophy on public relations. I was taken out of my comfort zone of rehearsed answers, and while nervous, I was also happy about it. I was genuinely shocked. This adult actually took an interest in my life, took me seriously, and wanted my opinion. This event should not be out of the ordinary, but for me it was.
As I answered his questions, I realized exactly what I’m looking for in an employer. I want to work for an organization that believes in transparency and openness. I want to work for a company who realizes the potential and importance of social media in public relations and marketing, or at least one that is open to me showing them. I want to work with people like this who actually listen, digest what I say, and respect me regardless of my age and experience level. He ensured me that it is possible to find this in a workplace, and he even offered to put me in touch with the media relations person at his company to talk about it. I was floored. A man I met five minutes ago was going out of his way to help me figure out my life. That meant a lot.
I do not know if this will really come to fruition or not. I am not sure I want to work in DC, and I do not know if the media person at this organization will be as helpful as this man. This professional networking experience may not produce any usable results. However, it was beneficial to me regardless. It helped me answer some of my own questions and made me consider things I had not thought of before in my job search. Now I know what to look for in an employer and what questions to ask them in an interview.
It also showed me how I want to act when I am older. I want to remember how hard it could be as an intern and student and be able to give the same helping hand to someone else down the line. I want to take a few minutes of my time to help others whenever I can. Though I do not want to be a teacher, I want to give guidance to any students that ask me for help. I do not want to become some jaded professional who takes people for granted or has too big of an ego to actually listen to others ideas and beliefs. I want to be open and have intelligent, adult conversations.
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