2012 in Review

In thinking about this year, it has really been a formative turning point in my life.  As I look forward to 2013, I wanted to take a look back at all I've made it through in 2012 to get here.

This year I...
- lived with 13 crazy strangers in a tiny house in DC, yet felt so alone the whole time
- had to get used to going out and doing things on my own there
- felt anger towards how I was treated by roommates, teachers, and advisers in DC
- felt like I didn't have a voice to do anything about it
- felt homesick from being away from my family, friends, and boyfriend for so long
- was depressed and doubtful of my future after 4 months of job searching without success
- was scared of what graduating and being independent meant
- realized I'd gained weight and my clothes weren't fitting right; felt insecure about my body
- made myself never miss a day at the gym and count my calories
- made myself go through and organize almost everything in my room/that I own with my free, jobless time
- was disappointed that I'd have to be an intern, yet again
- stressed about adjusting to two new work environments at the same time
- put so much pressure on myself to do an amazing job so I'd get hired full time

It has been a year for growth and for getting my life in order. After all the craziness and struggle that has been this year, I'm finally starting to feel like I'm in a really good place.  I'm getting to where I envisioned myself to be as I am half-way to turning 22.

I have a steady job that I really love in the city that I love and where my family is, I could not be happier or more supported in my relationship, and I am starting to feel confident in my body for the first time ever after getting into shape and losing a few pounds.

I'm sure there will be many more challenges ahead in 2013, but right now I am celebrating all the progress I've made.  Thanks to all of you who had my back, listened, and supported me through it all.

Summertime Book Fever

I have to wonder, is there anything better in life than getting wrapped up in a good book?

Sometimes I get so into books that it takes a few minutes after closing them to come back to reality.  It's like my life has become the story, and the "real world" is just a strangely hazy existence.  I can only think about and feel for the characters.  I ruminate on them until I can open the spine again, like I'm savoring the last bite of dessert all night.

I am conflicted between racing through the pages or not.  I rush to find out what happens next, but I also want to take in every last word and detail to get the full experience the author intended.  When I finish the last page, I am happy for a few minutes.  I sit in silence pondering what I just read and really taking it in, but then I feel an emptiness.  I wonder and doubt how any other book I read next could ever entrance me in the same way.  Then a few weeks or months later, the story leaves me.  I can recall the main gist, but those little intricacies that made it so addicting have fled my memories.

If I haven't had the time to start another book, I forget how the rush of emotions and adrenaline felt with each turn of the page, and I look at my bookshelf uninterested.  It doesn't seem worth investing time into a book to lose time to watch TV, browse the internet, play guitar, or indulge in other down time activities.

But every summer, my book fever starts anew, and I cannot imagine doing anything else but reading.

Am I done yet?

Well, to be frank, this week sucked.  Work has been really stressful and crazy.  This is one of the busiest weeks of the year for tourism in DC, since it is Easter week, and the Capitol was so packed.  I gave one tour, which turned out to be a nightmare since part of the group was late, and it was the last tour of the day so everything was closing up.  People are so rude.  They were late then complained that they didn't get to see enough.  I'm not sure what people's expectations are, but I think the Capitol is really cool!  I hate feeling like I let anyone down, but I think these people just had a bad attitude, and it wasn't me.  I guess the crowds are getting to everyone.  There were a lot of people gone from the office this week, too, so I was doing a lot.  It was nice to have more responsibility and things to do, but also not so fun since I barely had time to take a breath or eat.  I was also told I was going to be attending the Easter Egg Roll at the White House on Monday, but then a few days later learned that I couldn't go as an intern.  That was a huge heartbreak.  I mean, I never in a million years thought I would get to go to something like that so I was seriously ecstatic when I found out.  Then after being so emotionally drained all week and looking forward to that to keep me going, finding out I wouldn't be able to go was really tough.  Thank goodness I had Friday off, or I might have really gone crazy!

Thursday for theater class, we went to see Taming of the Shrew by Synetic Theater, but it wasn't typical Shakespeare at all.  It was silent!  There was music, but no words.  It was also supposed to be a modern hip hop version set in a very smutty Hollywood-type city.  It was bizarre, kind of crude, and I did not like it at all.  I don't think anyone in the house did.  It wasn't a great way to end my week or a good play to end this theater class on.

I came home on Thursday to find the cutest popcorn tin from my Aunt Jean.  I definitely needed a pick-me-up so that was just perfect!  She spoiled me too much when she was here, so I can't believe she sent me this popcorn, too!

Popcorn tin from Aunt Jean

Friday I decided to go to the Smithsonian National Zoo.  I made the mistake of waiting to eat lunch until I got there.  The zoo was crazy busy, and I had to wait probably almost 30 minutes in line to get food.  I almost felt awful and faint, because I had to wait so long.  It is not fun to feel that way when you are somewhere by yourself.  Moments of weakness like that and being surrounded by so many families at a place like the zoo reminds me of how much better it is to do things with other people instead of alone.  It is the times like those when I get a twinge of homesickness again and can't wait to just be with the people I love even doing the little, mundane things.  In general, it was hard to walk anywhere without a person or a stroller in your way as it was so busy there.  The zoo itself was cool though.  Its very big, and the big draw is the Giant Panda habitat.  I had never seen a panda before and seeing one up close was neat.  I also liked the meerkats - really cute.  There were some peacocks, which are just breathtaking, as well.  It is a lot of walking though so I was beat when I finished.

Panda!

Peacock

Flamingos

Meerkat

Saturday, I was kind of at a loss as to what to do with myself, so I decided to check out the Pentagon City Mall.  It was a pretty nice mall.  I just did a lot of looking mostly, but I did finally find myself a graduation dress at Forever 21.  I had been looking for a few weeks but didn't see anything that really hit me.  I love what I got.  I will be able to wear it to work and for other nice occasions, too.  The best part is that its bright purple!  Go Tigers!  I also bought myself a Cherry Blossom Festival shirt at Union Station on my way home.  That night there were fireworks down at the SW waterfront for the Cherry Blossom Festival, so I gathered up some of the roommates and off we went.  It was a nice show, but then the metro was crazy for a while with the huge crowd leaving the area.  We decided to try to find a restaurant or coffee shop to hang out at until the rush died down, but that was ultimately a failure so we just walked around for a good bit.

Red fireworks

Tons of gold fireworks during the finale

Today I was pretty bored and again didn't know what to do with myself.  I did my fairly regular Sunday tradition of going to Eastern Market for my favorite crepe and to look around.  I ended up just doing a work out video and watching some movies on my computer after that.  I'm really getting to the point where I'm just ready to go home.  Other than the few things I have planned for next weekend and when my parents are here to move me out the weekend after that, I'm done with everything I wanted to do and see here.  Living with 14 other people in this tiny house is wearing on a person, this week at work was crazy, and I'm done with all of my schoolwork, so I'm counting down the days.  I'm excited to get back to SC soon and be with my family and friends.  I swear this experience has made me appreciate the South so much more.  I'm craving some good BBQ and summer time fun.  It is also scary though as going home approaches since I literally have no plans after graduation day on May 11.  This has to be the first time in my life that has ever happened, and to a planner like me, that is pretty inconceivable in my mind.  As much as I'd like to relax and travel before I land a job, like everyone is telling me to, there is no way I can just sit around and not be stressing until I find something.  I want to start my life, and I want it to be the right thing, not just the available thing.  I can't rest until I find it, but the job search has been pretty sparse so far.

With the semester drawing to a close, some of you may be wondering what this blog will be afterwards.  Maybe you're not...but I guess I'm trying to answer myself on that question right now.  I still want to keep it up, though I likely won't have as many sightseeing adventures to document.  I'll probably do some general life update posts infrequently when something big happens or I take a trip.  I definitely want to write more about PR and social media related topics.  I've always wanted to since I started it, but I let the DC posts take priority for the time being.  Maybe in my unemployment I'll finally have time to be as crafty as you would think I am from looking at my Pinterest boards and post about that!  And I'll put it in writing right now so I stick to it - I want to try a diet when I get home, and I may write about how that goes.  We'll see!

Sorry for the mildly depressing post, but no worries!  I'm bringing out my favorite Coldplay and James Morrison tunes, which always feel so right and have gotten me through a lot.  I'm hoping the next two weeks are much better than this one, and I'll be home before I know it.

Official pic with Congressman Clyburn

Getting into the Swing of Things

Continuing where I left off last time, Sunday I took a me day.  I finally got a Smartrip card, which will make riding the metro so much easier, and I took a stroll around Eastern Market, which is a wonderful farmers and flea market with lots of fun food and arts vendors very close to our house.  It was pretty darn cold, so I didn't stay too long.  I will definitely be going back there though.  So many great scarves, jewelry pieces, hats, and other cool things.  I've also heard they have a great brunch.  Then I took some time to catch up on my TV shows online, write some letters to pen pals, and call family.  It's a little odd not having any alone time really, as I'm always with some of my roommates since there are so many of us.  I need to take some time for myself, and I always love it when I do.  Monday was a pretty chill day, too.  We went to the Washington Wizards game, then I came home and did some laundry.

Washington Wizards vs. Houston Rockets

The rest of the week I worked, of course!  It's really the most important reason why I'm here, but it is very easy to forget that with all the fun I'm having.  It's been amazing and stressful at the same time.  I feel like I've adjusted to working a little better than I did when I began my internship over the summer, because I have had that experience.  However, of course there are the times where I'm unsure of myself and feel like the new intern that doesn't know anything.  I put a lot of pressure on myself to make an amazing impression and exceed the highest expectations.  As I've learned with internships, it's what you make of it.  You have to ask, ask, and ask some more to do things you want to do and gain those opportunities.  I'm trying hard to make all of my time here as productive as possible, even when I don't have a specific task assigned to me.  My Friday was pretty amazing.  I got to actually go into the House chambers, walk around the floor, and sit in the front row.  I will have to go again when they are in session.  I went into the members only cloak room inside the chambers, and I got to stand on the speaker's balcony, seeing the view a president would see of the mall on inauguration day.  It was absolutely amazing.  Even though I get to go inside the Capitol on a daily basis, I feel like it will never get old.  The inside of that building is so elaborate and wonderful.  I am constantly looking around in awe, thankful of the privileges I have.

Clyburn's Office in Rayburn

My Badge!  Not the greatest picture, but it gets me to some amazing places!

It snowed a little last night, which looked pretty but also made things a little slippery today.  I wanted to do something since it was Saturday, so I decided to shop.  There is a Forever 21, H&M, and Zara, all right next to each other in Chinatown.  Can you say shopping heaven?  They all had some pretty great sales, too, so I got some cute things I needed.  Then went to a Chinese place in Chinatown with my roomie and got a cupcake after as well.  DC has a lot of cupcake places, so I've been wanting to try one. It was a really really fun day.  Things are great, and I feel at home in DC and at work.