Monday, December 12, 2011

My Internship! and Figuring Myself Out

After weeks of pursuit in applications and interviews, I found out right before Thanksgiving that I will be interning in Representative and Assistant Democratic Leader Jim Clyburn's office in the spring.  I am so excited to get involved in politics with such an influential and important man.  I have so much respect for what he has done and what he continues pursuing for South Carolina and the nation.  I hope to learn a lot in this position and have the experience of a lifetime.

I've been thinking about this whole semester and what its going to mean to me.  This is really the craziest thing I've ever done, now that I think about it.  I've lived in Greenville pretty much my whole life.  I've had mostly the same friends since I was in elementary school or I've extended my circle with friends of those friends.  I decided to attend a university 50 minutes from my home that I knew a lot about because my brother went there.  It's comfortable.  Even though I have accomplished a lot and had the opportunities to travel many places, I have never really done anything truly as independent as this.  I'm going to be living with 16 people I've never met in a new (and big) city for a whole semester.  This is a big deal for me.

And I think its exactly what I need.  If you're going to do something like this, college is the time to do it.  I'm still figuring out who I am and what I want in life.  I feel that this semester can help me figure that out.  I think it could really shape me and change me.  I think sometimes its exhilarating and good for your development as a person to do something drastic and have a change of scenery.  I know its going to be challenging in a lot of ways, but that's the only way to grow and become stronger.

This is the first time in my life I've not had a plan.  I honestly have no idea what I'm going to do after May.  I'm graduating, and I feel lost.  I'm applying to graduate school, but I don't know if I need it or if my heart is really in it.  Honestly, it might just be a way for me to put off the real world, though I don't want to admit it.  I don't know what to put in as keywords when I search for jobs online.  I can't seem to label myself as one thing that will define me for the rest of my life.  I don't know how anyone can at 20.  I'm starting to be okay with that.  I'm going to focus on the present, which means enjoying the holidays at home with my family and friends and embracing every minute in DC when I get there.  I know I'll figure it out eventually.

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